Key & Peele - Prepared for Terries

[Low music in headphones]  Yo. Hey, yo. Hey, yo. Yo, yo.

Excuse--Excuse me? Oh man, oh man, oh man. I'll tell you one thing, if 9/11st were to happen up
on this here plane, psht, don't worry. We got this. Oh.

Okay, I have no idea
what you're talking about. He said that if them terries
is gonna try something up in here today, like
the bounce, boogie, and bump, that we got this shit on lock. Terr--Do you mean terrorists? - Oh yeah.
- Hells yeah, baby. He ain't talking
about Teri Garr.

And I certainly ain't talking
about no terry cloth. I mean, if a terry up
on this plane, even thinking about trying
to do something, we gon' draxx him up. You're gonna--
You're gonna what? We're gonna
draxx him sklounst. I think what my partner's
trying to say is if any terries
come up in here, - we gon' get our Berger on.
- Yeah.

Did something happen,
or did I miss something? Is this hypothetical, or... Oh, we're gon' definitely
drop some hypotheticals on that terry's clavicle,
'cause I'm talking 'bout... [Imitates neck breaking] [both imitating blood spurting] Don't you just wish though? Don't you just wish
in your heart of hearts... Yeah.

Yeah. Some terry would come up
in here, trying some grab-ass, and the touchy-feely? That's the opposite of what I
want to have happen on a plane. Okay. That's unfortunate.

Conference. This was unexpected. It certainly was. I'm thrown right now as
to who's gonna be our comrade.

I can still hear you. He doesn't have the heart,
nor the gumption. You're literally right next
to me, so... On three, break.

Three. Yoo-hoo. I got an idea,
feel free to say no, but can we switch seats? I will not take no
for an answer. Why? That's the combat seat,
Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

If you gon' be
in the combat seat then you gots to be willing
to blast up on some terries. Because with great power come great responsitrillitrust. Okay. I just--
I just wanted some leg room.

Um... Okay, Max Legroom. You get yours. Meanwhile, I'm gon' go
Hayden Pantinerry on some terries.

Especially when they get froggy. Ribbit, ribbit. - Yeah.
- Um... You gon' have to be ready
to kidnap a terry.

- I don't--
- You gon' have to be ready to torture a terry. I don't think
that's necessary. Absolutely, you have to
fireboard those motherjammers. I don't even understand
what that means.

Do you trust me? No. I'll take that as a yes. Okay. Trust.

These terries come up in here
trying to act froggy... Whoo! Then we gon' give them
the Rainbow Connection. Here, froggy, froggy,
froggy, froggy. Is that a box cutter? Oh, you best believe it, baby.

We gon' be eatin'
like Diane Keaton. 2.36 Inches, baby. Shifax. Perfectly leg-well.

And if those don't work, you know I'm working up
that Plan B, brother. [Suspenseful music] You have a gun? Oh, yeah.
3-D printer, baby. 100% Polyurethane. They can't detect
these mamajamas.

They have a--
They have a weap-- They have--
They-- They have a weapon!
They have a weapon! - Oh, God!
- These guys got a weapon. - Who got a weapon?
- Where you at terry? Everybody relax.
We takin' control of this plane. No, wait a minute,
I'm not with them. [All shouting] The guy on the right
is the ringleader.

Ow! I don't know them.
I don't know them. I don't know those guys. I'm on vacation. [Whimsical music]  Draxx.

Them. Sklounst..